Billy's Christmas offering 2012

thought a thread dedicated to the upcoming holiday would be good, who wants what from whom etc, and threw this together to set us off on the run up to the 25th.....apologies if its too early!
enjoy

Christmas 2012 on Rally Model Forum

There's not too long to go lads,
Until the 25th,
So sure it’s not too early
To start my Christmas list?
There’s things I want, and things I don’t
And others I don’t care
I just hope Santa notices
My list upon the chair.

I suppose I’ll know what he has brought
When Christmas day arrives,
But please, no sweets or oranges
they bring me out in hives!
I don't want Hornby train sets
I'm already off the rails!
I don't want any power tools,
I'm crap with screws and nails.

I don't need no new knickers
No socks or woolly hats,
No dodgy stripey scarves for me
'Cos i aint into that.
Don't need to get a ticket
To a fancy theatre show,
Or to some boring concert
Unless its Whitesnake or the Quo!!

No none of these things do I crave
As we near the happy day
My list is very short you see
So to my wife I say,
My darling, when you're writing
My pressie list to Santa
Make it Irish or the ‘Vat-man’
Or a classy Opel Manta.

Now the scale it doesnt matter
18 or 43,
Any driver, any rally
It don't matter to me
I know it may be forward
and lacking in decorum
But I know I have support from all
the guys here on the forum.

The past year’s gone like Ari,
Just like a bolt of lightning;
And so has all my savings,
I’m telling you…it’s frightening!!
But sure we could do worse things
With all our hard-earned money,
So tell our wives and girlfriends,
Just think of all the sunny
Holidays that you have been on,
And places you have been.
So both of us is are happy
With all we’ve done and seen.

Its just that my wee hobby
Involves some glass and cabinets,
So why then, when I ask for more
Do you shout ‘I’M NOT HAVIN’ IT !’ ?
It keeps me out of trouble
And keeps me in the house
I sit and play with decals,
As quiet as a mouse.
To all the wives and girlfriends
Who ‘TUT’ and shake their head
Would you rather we were wasting
Our cash on drink instead?
Or chasing other women
All make-up, legs and hair,
Do you not know its other kinds
Of models we prefer?

Its Christmas time dear wife of mine
So settle, come, sit down
Lets cherish my display wee pet,
I’ll even show you ‘round!
Theres Ari’s small collection
Its growing, very slowly
And then the Irish 1:18’s
That cabinet’s almost holy!
The little Opel Mantas
All cute, 1:43
Theres 32 of them, dear
No room for thirty-three.
And then the main collection
1970-2010
Lets walk along the cabinets,
Turn round, and look again.

Now woman, you must realise
That this is what we do
We rally model nutters
Must stick to what is true.
We buy, we build, we modify
We decal and we paint
We even chop the dashboards
Which makes us feel quite faint!

So ladies, wives and girlfriends
Please let us have our thing
And gather round the turkey
A Christmas song to sing.
And though we know our presents
To you are mostly crappy,
If you buy us some Code-3’s,
Then at least we will be happy!
So now you know the score my dear
Tell Santa my desire
And if he doesn't bring it,
I'm lighting the coal fire!

So to all the forum here and now,
All members, old and new
I dedicate this poem
And send it out to you.
To wish you, ‘Happy Holidays’,
I hope your sack is filled (!?)
With diecast, resin or indeed
A kit that you can build.
Autoart, Kyosho,
Otto, Norev too
Sunstar or even better
A custom build for you.

To all the Mg lovers
To David, Juha, Dave,
I hope you get the missing
6R4 that you still crave.

To Omer, you deserve a prize
Perhaps a ‘City & Guilds’
For blowing us away with pix
Of your simply stunning builds.

To all the seasoned veterans
Like Colin, Mark and Brian
Who share with us their knowledge
You help the rest of us keep tryin’

To Rory, Sean and Gary,
So busy, with your plans
Conversions, decals, projects,
And George with your big vans!
To Andy, Mark and Boyley
Keep building, they will sell…
To Chris, who’s now an escort man
He can’t be feeling well!

To Mark the Sunstar Escort king
Every Mk2 he has got;
And now he’s into Fisher
He’l have all KMD’s bought
He’s the king of ‘found on e-bay’,
And has more ‘bumps’ than the moon
The way he adds them to his threads
He’l out-post McMurray soon!

Ah Paul, old m8, ‘old hopalong’
The scourge of walls and ditches
With legs all black with bruises
And scarred with many stitches,
At least the wife is nursing you
Och she’s a grand wee lassie
Who knows? She might buy you new wheels,
Who cares if it’s a Massey….

And finally to Nicky,
The reason we are here,
Just want to thank you m8,
For all you’ve done this year
The time and trouble you have spent
To keep this forum going
Is much appreciated
Lets hope, it keeps on growing.

For those I haven’t mentioned
Whose story I’ve not told,
Forgive me if I’ve missed you,
I’m afraid I’m getting old.
I mean no ill towards you
And that comes from the heart.
But its hard to keep you all in mind
For this senile old fart!

And so my fellow modellers
I’ve not much more to say,
Just want to wish you all on here
A 'model Christmas Day"!!

very very very good!!!!

ah cheers paul....
i have pre-ordered the Otto Belga RS200, won't be hear til Feb, and waiting on the Autoart Lancia Delta S4, again prob won't be hear for Christmas, so taking into account a couple of recent purchases i won't be expecting too much on the 25th!!
but all good things.....etc...etc....

See that I'm not on the Christmas card list...

Billy.. FANTASTIC. Your wasted man ! Should we be expecting a vatmans book of poems in the future ? Well done and hope the santmans good to ya..Happy Crimbo mate !

gary.........cheers m8, sure i've too much time on my hands, you wouldn't think i've a couple of models on the go at the moment, waiting on decals though....... (HINT!!! GAZ!! LOL!!)

chris m8, please don't be offended m8, i only threw in some names off the top of my head,i was always gonna miss someone......sorry!
plus m8 i don't send Christmas cards to anybody any more........ hope you have good one though

Only joking no worries! My collecting is hard to pin down anyway and is quite a broad church unlike a lot of other members who tend to specialize in one genre. Anyway it's good that someone is spreading cheer and goodwill unlike the other thread I've seen on here this morning so all power to you!

Cheers

Chris

ah chris thats a reief m8, thanks!
this forum is like life in general, we all have good days and bad, and we all can't get on all the time, but overall its a good place to be and i know the vast majority wouldn't offend other members for any reason.........i for one have benefitted greatly from the craic and all the info/advice/etc that appears on here..i think though we need reminded every now and again that it is a MODEL forum, thats all, nothing more, nothing less, and def not worth falling out with folk over...............no-one forces any of us to join, read, post or comment, so let's lighten up and look forward to the big fat red-faced one appearing.........(no, not me, smart_ss!!! Santa!! ) cheers m8, and sorry again.......

bmd wrote:gary.........cheers m8, sure i've too much time on my hands, you wouldn't think i've a couple of models on the go at the moment, waiting on decals though....... (HINT!!! GAZ!! LOL!!)

chris m8, please don't be offended m8, i only threw in some names off the top of my head,i was always gonna miss someone......sorry!
plus m8 i don't send Christmas cards to anybody any more........ hope you have good one though

Was going to sort them for you until I saw that I wasn't in your poem LOL! THE No1 Manta man! Don't you forget it McD

Na mate, will sort it at the weekend! Work and my little girl (oh and the missus!) have kept me busy busy busy! No gigs this weekend so I'll be able to sort it for you and get them in the post recorded on Monday.... Maybe I don't trust you LOL! I take it you don't need the gold bits.

ha!! m8 i'm going to have to issue a general apology to all members not mentioned!!!!

of course i couldn't give you any glory or publicity as you try to steal my 'Manta King' crown!!

happy days m8, no i dont need the gold parts, i have 'painted' them myself (ahem!), and you know you can send thenm in full faith that you will get them, er, em...........eh...................back...............(someday!)

cheers Gaz!

thats excellent billy

Superb Billy, great piece of Literacy

ah cheers lads, sure its a bit o' craic!

not sure if it qualifies as literacy simon tbh but thanks m8, i'll take what i can get lol!!

Absolutely fantastic Billy. Happy Christmas m8.

Great humour Billy.
Had a great laugh at it.

Keats, Byron, Wordsworth and now Billy from Ballymena.........

Well done to Billy
The forum scribe,
From now to christmas may be a bit hilly
But hope the new year will be nice to discribe,

ah cheers guys, i've been called worse things !!!

That is indeed class Billy, although when I first scrolled down the page to see how long it was, I did 'gulp' somewhat!

It must have really rolled off the tongue when I read it through - so much that I continued reading several subsequent posts as if they were poetry as well!

PS - Many thanks for the mention, I feel well and truly honoured!

ah cheers david, no probs, thought i'd throw a few names in there just to brighten it up for some.....

'...for some' lol - nice to know I am one of the 'some'!

Cowley wrote:
PS - Many thanks for the mention, I feel well and truly honoured!

same in here Billy! I am also so honored! to be part of this nice and big family
thanks!

hi omer, no probs m8, i thought you would ask me what a 'City & Guilds' is............??

bmd wrote:hi omer, no probs m8, i thought you would ask me what a 'City & Guilds' is............??

let me ask you then m8

If you dont want to be on a Rally Stage you could be on the Theatre Stage fella!
Very good indeed!